domingo, janeiro 29, 2006

Um dia atiro a alma ao ar e serei friamente feliz...


«Evitei a vida como um pássaro que voa não se sabe como nem para onde, procurando apenas não pousar. Não passei pelas coisas, não compareci, inventei, fechei os olhos, menti, olhei de lado, disfarcei, sempre que pude, fugi. Hoje trago a alma branca, magoada de tanto protegê-la. Mas não a vendi. As minhas intenções eram boas. Eu é que não as percebi.
[…]
Com o meu coração casado, cansado de gostar e de deixar de gostar. Cansado de lembrar e ver, de ver a lembrança à minha frente, e a felicidade atrás de mim, cansado do presente, de ver e de comparar uma com a outra. Cansado de discutir, de não explicar, não perceber, não ser percebido, de perdoar e não ser perdoado.
Cansado de sorrir do meu sorriso, da maneira que a lágrima tem de cair e secar, das portas, das janelas, do ar dentro das casas. Cansado de me animar, de me apanhar do meio do chão, de me meter no carro, de me servir, de me levantar.
Com o meu coração cansado de não saber o que sente, e de descobrir sempre de repente o que não sabe. Com o coração cansado de saber. Cansado de mentir. Cansado de esquecer. Mas coração, mesmo assim..."


Miguel Esteves Cardoso – O cemitério de raparigas

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